I'm sorry
It somewhat reminds me when I was still living with my parents ten years ago. They couldn't get me...But pretended they were..Fights with my father, feeling the worst person on the face of the Earth. Never good enough for him.
Back then my therapist suggested repeatedly that I should move out. But I couldn't see that happening. I was working my *** off, getting more and more depressed and my parents were totally oblivious..they'd just considered my suffering some kind of defiance against them. It was hell. The more I tried to put on an "I'm okay" face the worse it got.
Now I'm thinking back...and I realise I was stuck back then. Stuck in that invisibly dysfunctional hell.
I'm thinking now...why did I stay for so long?
I know there are always explanations for this.
But really, I should have left. I still don't know the specifics, how. But really, I should have...
I know, being stuck is real, the situation and feelings are real.
I wish you'll find a way soon to move away from there.