I've mentioned it before briefly but he didn't seem phased by it. We didn't really dive into it. Not sure he really gets how serious I am.

I am sure it stems from my childhood emotional abuse/neglect. I am not even someone who allows my "best friend" to get close to me. We live in different states, see each other 1x a year and communicate by text only otherwise.

I will try to bring it up again. I HATE feeling needy and I feel ashamed to want to push him away when he is trying to help, ugh... hard convo but I will do my best on Friday