This is more of a vent post... hope it's in the right place.

All my life I've had a mindset on how I should live, and I've never really questioned it. I've always felt that I got into my problems on my own, so I should get out of them on my own. I also felt that because my problems were my fault, I should deal with the consequences. If I broke a bone, I wouldn't get a cast: that would be cheating myself by getting out of the consequence of my action. If I got sick, I wouldn't let myself take meds.

I never questioned this way of living until now... people tell me I'm too hard on myself, and that making myself suffer isn't a way to live. I thought it was noble to always deal with my problems on my own, to tackle everything without help.

For the first time in my life, I see why people tell me that I need to rethink things. Maybe everything isn't my fault and I don't need to solve everything alone. But it's hard to change, I'm not used to getting help. I'm not used to not suffering.

But I'm a dad now, I have a family, and now I see how my suffering can make others suffer too. I don't want to be a bad father.

So I decided to take a step in trying to change by getting surgery on my broken hand, so I'll be able to move it again, and I'm seeing a pdoc now. It's scary, but I hope it'll make me a better person, and in turn, a better father.

TY Psych Central for letting me vent, and all the great people on here who have to endure it.