Thank you so much for your reply. It sounds silly but just knowing someone read it makes me feel better. It makes me feel less alone with my thoughts.

I am in therapy but I am still adjusting to my therapist. I was in psychoanalytic therapy for 7 years so I am so used to talking about the origins of emotions and everything. But then I felt like I wasn't making any more progress so I decided to switch to cognitive therapy. It's a huge adjustment but I do feel I could benefit from it once I adjust. I just am not sure this is a topic this type of therapy can help with? I will bring it up during my session on Thursday although it's ultra embarrassing to discuss this with a man.

Thank you again.