Yes, mania destroys all I've built up. I prefer (severe) depression (not just because I like pain in general but also because I function better while depressed and not just because pain makes me function better; depression is a win-win situation). It takes me a few hours longer before I can do much of anything, but after that (unlike with mild depression) I almost effortlessly put on a decent, decades-old show of gregariousness, stability, reasonableness, responsibility and reliability. I try to do the same when manic, but after a while it's untenable.

In other words, depression gives me total control. All that I appear to be is created out of nothingness.

But interpersonal things you describe are maybe more a part of BPD than of BP, though it's difficult to compare the two, having both (but I do work with crazy people and I know the criteria/syndromes pretty well). It doesn't matter that much, but maybe you can trace some of your problems back to childhood trauma and/or (emotionally) abusive/negligent parenting, conditional love.

It could be just BP. You can still blame your parents, though.