just wondering what imo stands for lol .. i am not familiar with that one ..

She .. triggers me into dissociation - just something about her .. haven't figured it out yet .. yes she is extremely controlling and wants to do every ones job for them so to speak.
It is just every time i see her ..i dissociate completely and i get very confused on everything i am doing.. as if i am a tiny child facing giants..adults..etc... it is so weird and hard to explain.

i felt that leaving it was the best thing to do on the day of practice because .. childrens attention can only go so far and they get overwhelmed easy .. i did manage to get a few songs in with the few that showed up ..taught 2 boys how to play drummer boy on the snare drum - turned out good..
so it want like we did nothing... it was when it came to practice more songs they were just give out.. so i asked them .. do you really want to do this .. cuz i dont believe in MAKING anyone do anything against their will .. God does not press His Will on us ..why should i press my will for them to want to learn and sing etc. Children remember how they were treated at church as children and as adults never want to go back. . i believe in letting them choose whether they want to participate or not. Just my way of thinking. Now if they really want to do a thing and show interest - i want to support that and help as much as possible. There is nothing like going to a childrens play or pageant whatever and their little faces are so sad and angry . i wont ever do that to a child.. it makes them self concious - embarrased .. all kinds of humiliating feelings.

I love to work with kids - it is something i do well at and helps me so much during the week - and then they absorb it on the weekends. (It - meaning work)
I am happy and filled with creativity and much joy working with them together. i have always worked with kids .

She (Pastor) last week - when i came in the foyer of the church to go back to the sunday school wing - yelled at me because i was in jeans with a holiday sweater ... i dont go to service so i didnt think it would be a problem especially it being in the 20s outdoors .. so when i walked in many people who were there watched as she told me i could not be a Leader dressed like that.. i blew her off and went back to the class - she came in and i couldnt speak to her at all - she yelled and yelled .. and then asked me - do you want me to leave the room - i waved good bye to her.

Controlling ppl to me are just .. evil.