I'm sick of feeling this way. I am almost always either so angry that I want to break things or hurt other people and/or myself or so sad that I want to cry myself to sleep. I am sick of hurting and I can't take it anymore.

I can't handle the pain of being alive. I can't handle living in this dark lonely scary world. I can't handle being an adult. All I want is for somebody to show me some compassion and help me but I have nobody. I just want to be loved by somebody. I want somebody to hold me and tell me that I will be OK. I want a mother figure. I want somebody.

I want to live in a fantasy world. I game because I want to live in a world where I'm good at things and people respect me. I want to escape from this world because it is so ****ing painful. All I want is to either game or die. Nothing else is important to me.

I'm sick of everything. I know I'm not good enough for people. I am so unhappy all of the time, that must be why I don't have any friends. I push people away or piss people off because I am always an angry cynical selfish little bastard. I have no redeeming factors about myself. I can't make friends or get a girlfriend or get a job because all of these things require confidence and good social skills and I don't have any of that. I am useless. I am nothing.

I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. I have scars all over my body from biting, scratching, burning, and beating myself because of how much I hate myself. I want to drown out the emotional pain that I feel deep down inside somehow. I can't take it anymore.

I hope I don't wake up tonight. I want out of this **** world. If there is a god, please take me tonight. I beg you.