S (ex-T),

You won't be here... you won't be here if anything bad happens to me. You won't be here for me to hide with. You won't be here for me to hold onto. You won't be here to make me feel safe.

You're not coming back. I don't ****ing want to ****ing go to group or see ****ing J or the ****ing massage therapist I booked to try and replace ALL the ****ing places in my brain where you exist. I don't ****ing want any of this. I want you. I want your office. I want you. I didn't get to say goodbye to our therapy, to your office. I am never going to ****ing be ok. Never. It has been ****ing months, and I am still. not. ok. and I cannot do this.

I just want you. I just want you. I want you.