I haven't been here in a long time. My moods have been more down than up. I have more med changes than I can remember. I'm under the care of a psychiatrist that I'm paying out-of-pocket rather than going through my community hospital because they couldn't prescribe some of my meds anymore. Fortunately I go to a pharmacy that deeply discounts my meds.

Anyway, my mom died on May 24th after a short illness of dementia with parkinsons (lewy body dementia). A few days after that my daughter graduated high school. The last couple of weeks my daughter has been to see a cardiologist and pulmonologist for problems with her lungs and heart. There is definitely a problem, but they aren't sure what is causing the problems so she has to undergo tests. She also has aspergers. I have been having a rough go of it. Fortunately, I can write to my psychiatrist when I need her. I haven't been sleeping and I'm desperate for sleep. She increased my Klonopin. I did say that I was desperate for sleep when I wrote to her. Which brings me to this posting.

She said that I needed to work on this desperate feeling that I have been having. I don't know how to do that. With all of the things that have been happening to me, I feel desperate. If it weren't for my daughter I wouldn't even be here and she knows that. How do I work on this desperate feeling that I have? I can't afford a therapist or I would have one, but between the psychiatrist and meds, I just cannot afford one.

Does anyone have any suggestions?