S (ex-T/now "friend"???) whatever he is.

Being nothing to you = being nothing, period.
I know, I know, you have not said I am "nothing."
That is how the child part of my brain works, and it is very strong, and I cannot cram it back and keep it there.
You never responded. I cried out more genuinely and in more overwhelming pain than you could know, and there was no response. No acknowledgement. Just, nothing.
I know, I know, you have no emotional reserve. You warned me.
Neither do I. It doesn't matter that I was warned. I can't handle crying out and receiving no response. And, I can't handle having you but without your support, your safety, your care.
What do I have, then? A surface-level texting correspondence? Memes and "how's the weather-"level conversation, and nothing more?
It may have been enough had we not had something deeper for 3 years first.
I can't handle how much and how frequently I am getting hurt.
I'm not who I was. I'm not the same person, and neither are you.