continued...

So, what do we do now?
What now?
I don't want to lose you, but it honestly seems I already have. I have lost too much of what we were for what's left to count as "still having you." But, my brain won't accept it. I still catch myself every day counting down "x number of days until I see...wait, it's J, not S" ...pain... every. day. I have to make that correction. Multiple times a day. Always subconsciously latching on to tiny fragments of hope that this isn't real. That you will come back. That I am only just holding my breath "until..."
What do we do now?
What do we do now...