So, I have not verbalized much of this to her. Bits and pieces here and there.

Tomorrow's my session and I want to tell her all this. I want to tell her exactly how it has been for me since last week's session.

I've never even been able to say that I was annoyed with her (she's asked) and now I want tell her I was last time as well as the way I want and expect mothering from her. I'm so afraid to tell her much; I'm afraid if I tell her things I think about (her taking care of me, holding me) then I'll lose those fantasies. Or she'll expect me to not have them. For now, I like them and want them; I dont' want to lose them.

I don't know how to do this.

... biting my nails...