I keep pushing people away from me...
Sometimes I don't even mean to, but I've realized I keep doing it. I just cut contact with the one person I can always chat too online and really smile with because it was making me feel too lonely. in fact I'm not logging into online chats like normal.
and today... here's an example. My friend called me to ask if I had some scotch tape so she could borrow it for a final due that night. I almost lied that I didn't have tape, or that I wasn't in my room just to avoid the contact. I get upset because I'm feeling alone yet I dig myself into deeper holes.
this is so aggravating...

and then I also didn't call the counseling service as planned today... I think subconsiously I waited for the place to close before "remembering" to call... wouldn't put that past me -.-
I don't even know what would talking to someone help with? I'm sure alot of people on here go,... what do you do in sessions... that help...

I'm sorry I've been posting so much... I'm just at a point where... I feel like don't have the energy to fight anymore...