I wish I could help... I'm still trying to figure out things of my own, so I can't just tell you there's a good ending I found it so can you or anything but what I WILL say
Is that it's ok to be scared, sometimes things just get really tough. And things can get overwhelming. The best way to try to deal... is take small steps, talk to people as much as you can about it.

As far as being on a pity pot... I don't know how much you complain generally or anything, but sometimes... it's more that you want to talk to someone , to get help than to see those worried faces just for their own sake. I would guess that's not what you're going for. Rather you're trying to help yourself. In fact that's a really good thing. And, especially here don't worry, we're here to talk anytime. Not sure if this all makes any sense, I'm not especially clear-thinking today so if you need clarification ask ^_^

keep trying, I hope your psychiatrist works out for you and things get better

*hugs*