What the devil... why is life constantly attacking me??

I just left my spouse....6 yrs together, 2 months married...but can no longer suffer under the verbal and emotional abuse.

In another fierce argument and at the hands of feeling like a prisoner in my own home...my spouse screamed at me " I did not RAPE you so stop denying me" I disinagrated within my own being!!!

I am flashing back, reliving it all over and over. Remember new things that I never want to think of again.
Feeling 11 inside my mind, yet no one sees the Little girl crying, begging, screaming for help and mercy!!

How many more abusers must I endure before I am ok'd to just go away forever????