I am 100% new to this site, (made an account just to ask this question) so my apologies if it's not in the right section at all.

I'm young, below the age of eighteen, and I've been seeing my therapist since May 18th. (It's July 7th now) and I'm really bad at verbalizing, so basically I'm writing down everything in a journal and my therapist reads it in our session. I see her once a week, though she wants to see me twice a week.

So, after our first session, I googled her. I always google people, I think tats normal? Well, that blew up and now I'm obsessed over her. I mean obsessed. I stalk her Facebook (she recently made her account more private than it was) including typing in "photos __ has commented/liked" so I can see what she comments on. Or likes. I used to stalk her friends list, she recently made that private. I stalk her LinkedIn hoping for more information, rarely getting anything new. A family member of hers works at the place too as the receptionist and I even stalk her. I made a fake instagram account (not just for them) to follow her and request to follow T. I stalk her family. Her husband. Her kids are younger, so I can't stalk them but I do go on her kids Facebook page to find pictures or posts of her kids (even a couple of her). I look for her everywhere. I know what car she drives and we both live in the same small town. I crave seeing her in public. Once I saw her in her car driving (she didn't see me) and my heart was so happy. I drive by her house. She lives in a subdivision too, so it's not an easy drive by. I'm on purpose entering her living neighborhood. This makes me feel crazy. Sometimes if I'm walking places, I take the longer way walking so she may see me walking, since I live ten minute walk from her office. I go to the gas station right next to her office to maybe get seen. I've drawn out her family tree. I feel genuinely crazy, stalkerish... I don't like her romantically, I just need to know more. Hell, I drive by her husbands work. When I'm in public, I look around for her. I dress nicely on T days. I buy clothes mainly for the sake of her seeing them. I have no plans on telling her I'm stalking HER, Id rather die than admit that, plus I'm getting in the way of her kids and that's a boundary too big to cross. But, I'm thinking of writing about it but for someone else. Like, I don't know who, but just someone. I don't know if this is too long or in the right place, but I need guidance on what to do. I love going to see her. Like, I count down the days and hours and a week feels so lonnngg..