LONG detailed post!

I would like some input regarding my interpersonal interactions with a psychiatrist (but not my primary psychiatrist.) I’ve been having VERY hard to describe strong countertransference reactions. I need some input on how to proceed. I also find myself in a VERY unique situation which makes things trickier.

I am receiving an intensive treatment at Clinic. Separate from this, I have a therapist and a psychiatrist. During my treatment, a psychiatrist, Dr. X., sits in with me.

After I began treatment I was hired by Clinic. Even though I won’t be interacting with the Dr. X as part of my job, I will be working part time in the same building and we can say we are colleagues. This sets up a unique dynamic.

Dr. X (older male) and I (younger female) had great rapport right away and we have tons in common, not just some unique interests but also personality features and experiences. Self-disclosure grew organically – he was very open since the beginning but not TMI. His general approach is to be quite open and chatty with patients, but I suspect the colleague component affects the dynamic.

As I shared more stuff, he began to share quite a bit of personal stuff with me – I believe his intention was to help me feel understood. After a while, he shared about severe mental illness in his family, trauma symptoms, his own psychopathology, divorce, etc.

Last week, during the last 10 minutes of my treatment he just revealed a lot of deeply personal stuff all at once. I even processed it in therapy because I was very affected by such feeling of shared vulnerability, rawness, and intimacy given my role. I believe he was having a very strong affective reaction that ended up affecting me since I had already made myself vulnerable earlier in the session. There was no wrapping up after he told me all that stuff. My treatment was over so I walked out.

I felt confused about whether I am his patient, colleague, or somewhat of a friend.

Now, I am known for being hypervigilant during one on one interactions so it’s hard for me to know if I overread into things when I feel that I’m picking up on subtle things, but I felt there was a degree of subtle, underlying anger/hostility when he spoke to me this week. The treatment is often double booked, but when another patient comes he will usually set the other patient up and then come back to sit with me. Yesterday when the other patient arrived, he just walked out without even saying goodbye.

Given my attachment issues, it just felt surprisingly devastating and rejecting. But again, because of my “attachment issues” I sometimes overread into these things. I am extremely attracted to him so that might play into the equation. He has hinted (in an appropriate context) that he thinks I’m attractive but I have no concerns he’d do something inappropriate or that that will be an issue.

Essentially, I’d like any thoughts on this situation. What do you think is happening with him? Should I bring up what I perceived happened last week? Should I just let it go? Should I wait and see if his behavior continues? He is not my therapist so I’m really confused about what is appropriate and what is the nature of our roles.

Thank you for reading my long post!