I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I've struggled a lot to with therapists wanting me to go to DBT (or the last one who thought that if I wouldn't do DBT, I should do ANY other group - so that I'd be around more people!)

Here are some things that I'd try with the therapist:

- I'd ask T specifically to talk to me about why he thought I needed the group, what he thought I'd gain from it, what the commitment is (i.e. what if you attended for a month, and then decided you couldn't do it, would he then work with you to find an alternative?), and what his experiences with it are (i.e. has he sent other clients, how did they do, how did they respond, did he notice changes with them).

- What you're feeling - this feeling of abandonment and that he's trying to get rid of - is very very very common for Borderline Personality. I'd be very clear with him that you feel this way if you haven't, and ask him straight-up if this is his intent. (It's not perfect, since people, including Ts, can lie... but it's good to be clear about what you're feeling as he may not know, and to try to work out whether he is actually intending to abandon you, to send you off to group and then drop out of your life, or whether it's something inside your head that you're reacting to).

I will say that, to attend the DBT group here that I looked at, you *had* to have an individual T - it was required. You couldn't do group without a T. So, going to DBT would actually make it harder for your T to abandon you.

My ex-T actually made a point of spelling out that he wasn't trying to abandon me, though it still felt like that a little bit when he wouldn't let the group idea go. It's so hard, isn't it?!

- Third - can you talk to your T about a compromise? Can you ask him if he knows of anything else that might work for you, or look into either a book or an online group? (There were a couple of online places teaching DBT skills remotely when I looked a couple weeks ago, but I didn't make a list... you should be able to find them quickly with google.)

How would you feel about trying an online DBT course? Do you think that might be a good way to compromise, and to get the skills that your T wants you to have?

Just some ideas... I'm sorry you're going through this. Is your T experienced with treating Borderline Personality?