Can you talk to them about it? Call or Email? If I were in your shoes, and could not talk to them, I would write my feelings down in letter form. And if you can, share them with your T's when you see them again. I know your feelings, in my own way, very well, and it's awful, and hopeless, yes. But it doesn't have to stay that way. Write down your feelings, share them at your next sessions, and get those feelings out of you and onto them. And know that as long as you visit here, you are NOT alone. We all walk this path together.