Ok. today is the day i go home. for sure this time. Feeling anxious and depressed as well.
When im by my mom. all is well. when i go home however, things are back to "normal". More bills,
More depression more crap. I have to think about things. I have anxieties to play with. I dont want to deal
and have no choice. christmas is crap. Right now things are just crap. Shes adopted me a while back. and the best thing thats ever happened to me since my real parents died. (told you the story before....readers digest version: met her on a diabetes support group and she "adopted" me. I tried to stay as long as i can, but i know the enevitable is coming.
I have to go home. I have to face my "life" if thats what you want to call it. The two weeks here have been the best of
things thus far. thank god i have a sidekick phone so i can lean on you all for help.

I cant help but be depressed and want to SI today. Im just hating today in general. She makes everything go away, albeit temporary but im happy here.

Today will be rough. back to the inevitable. my life.....my sucky life.