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Originally Posted by guilloche
First, does this T have any actual understanding of attachment issues? Is that something she has studied and treats regularly? Because she sounds like she doesn't know what the heck she's doing.
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From what I understand, no. She's a director at a recovery center...she hasn't made any mention of dealing w/attachment issues. She's actually younger than I am, she being 33 and I'm 35. Very young. Not sure how long she's been in practice...maybe 5-6 years?
Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
I think there are many better ways that a T could respond! Some might actually focus on what you're saying here - that they're officially a part of your life, you've let down a wall, somewhere, and are letting them in! That's great, they should respond with some acknowledgement of that!
(The new T that I'm seeing would probably say something like, "Wow! I realize how few people you choose to put in to your phone, and I'm honored. How does it feel to you, to have me be in your life 'officially'?")
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I think this is what I would have liked. Yesterday, when she said she didn't care if she was a stored contact in my phone- which I felt was unprovoked- it stung, considering that she knew the symbolism of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
I'm curious too, if you don't mind sharing, how did you end up returning to this T? Did you talk to any others? Do you think that you might do better with someone who is a better match for you?
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We had an argument about my course of treatment. I was tired of just (after 1 year and 3 months) of talking about the week before. She wanted my panic and anxiety to completely dissipate before we dove in...I felt that my tendency to block my emotions and people out is causing the panic and anxiety and taking a toll on me physically (and the article I supplied her with, corroborated that).
I think I need someone who understands attachment trauma.
Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
You said, "At the end, she asked what would have happened had she not contacted me and why I didn't contact her." - so she contacted you after you left? Had you actually quit therapy at that point - or did you just leave without setting up another appointment. Most good Ts won't chase you down like this, I think, so that's a red flag to me.
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We had a disagreement in her office. It escalated and we both became animated. I asked her point blank if she was gonna help me with this and she said no. I said,
"There ya go" and got up and walked to the door. As I opened it, I said, "I know I owe you money. I'll mail the payments in" to which her reply was,
"Nice. Real nice." I closed the door and I heard a door open and slam (she later refuted it was her, that it was another door in her offices). To me, I had quit.
That was a Friday. On Wednesday, after no communication, she e-mailed me asking how I was doing and if I wanted an appointment and she'd love to "put me in the books." It sounded nice enough. I replied (I do feel loyal to her).
Then at the end of the session, she said,
"And what would have happened had I not contacted you? Were you thinking of contacting me? What would have happened? Would you just started to mail in payments?"
It was an odd line of questions to me. I've had those questions before...from boyfriends and my ex-husband when we were fighting. Not from a professional (a point she drove home during the last appointment).
Today she said,
"When you got up, you basically said '***** you Jessica." I was dumbfounded. Then she said,
"Well you didn't say that, but you could have." I don't feel like she's knows me if she would think that's what I meant.
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Originally Posted by Calilady
She doesn't specialize in attachment. I think when she said today, unprovoked because we weren't talking about if she was still in my phone, that "I DONT CARE IF IM IN YOUR PHONE OR NOT" was a dagger to the heart. She knows the symbolism of it. To say you don't care, when we weren't talking about that, was like a punch in the gut. My attachment figure doesn't care.
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