Hi Darkness,

This is another post I didn't see due to being lost in my own bs. Sorry.

What you describe here sounds much like social anxiety. Although, I will say even though I do not deal personally with social anxiety, some of what you say, I must agree or semi-agree with.

Fear DOES make you or me or anyone else weak BUT it can also make us strong by forcing us to either deal with the problem at hand or find a way we would not otherwise have found.

People ARE inherently evil BUT they can CHOOSE to learn to change that and become loving, nurturing, kind, generous, honest, loyal, etc... Life is about choices and changes, each person can determine which direction to take for themselves, so in the end -not everyone is evil because not everyone chooses to be evil.

The only way to beat fear is in fact to face it (not necessarily embrace it), and tell it "you have no power over me" and do precisely what fear tells you, you cannot.

About homelessness, being that I have been homeless at two points in my life, I can tell you... for the most part you are right, nobody wants to help BUT there are some who will especially if you show you're trying. I would definitely help you if it was at all within my means to do so at the time.

Now... embracing your inner darkness. That's both good and bad. Depends on how and why you do it. If you are doing it to heal, and thus facing your darkness and saying "yes, you are a part of me, but not my whole. You don't control me anymore, I control you - because I am no longer ashamed nor scared of you. I accept you for what you are, nothing more and nothing less. You are a part of me. No stronger nor weaker than I. You just are.. and I accept you." and then realize you can change whichever parts of your inner darkness remaining active you wish to change - that's a good way of embracing your inner darkness. If you look at your darkness and say, "You are stronger than I. I'm tired. Take over now. Live my life for me." - that's a bad thing because that's giving up on yourself.

You are strong even if you sometimes feel weak. We all have times we feel weak. We all have times we get afraid. The question is - what choice do we make with that fear?

Sometimes I run until I can no longer run. Sometimes I stand strong. Sometimes I cower before it and beg for mercy.

You can run, by refusing to acknowledge the existence of the problem any longer if you wish... But one day it will show itself even stronger again.

You can stand strong by accepting your darkness but refusing to let it take you over and then facing your fear and doing exactly what fear says you cannot.

You can cower before it and beg for mercy by accepting your darkness, giving it strength, and asking it to take over n live your life for you.

The choices are yours. None are right nor wrong. None are set in stone. You can change your choice at any time. That too is a choice..whether or not to change your choice.

Just remember, your choices impact the direction your life takes.

What choice will you make?

♥