I don't post here much these days. Therapy is good, my T is awesome, last week we had 2 fantastic sessions and I realize I trust him more than anyone in my life and its a very scary thing. Terrifying.

I have issues getting close to people... in any form. So this is very new and scary for me... and naturally.... I am trying to push him away. I am finding myself nitpicking every thing so I can be angry at him for no good reason and making up excuses for not wanting to go anymore etc...

I don't WANT to keep repeating this pattern... I have someone I really trust so its a great time to work through it but how, when I am doing everything I can think of to push him away now?

I don't wanna lose him... and I don't wanna do this yet again to someone. I need advice.