Hi Guiltier65, I am sitting next to you in a field, feeling the sun warming me, and the scratchy grass underneath me. There is a slight breeze and I am just glad to be near someone kind and thoughtful and interesting, you. I missed feeling like I had someone to sit next to when I grew up, my mom was in an alcoholic fog of pain and medication. The rest of my family looked fine, but were mostly tuned out of life. I don't think there is anyone to blame for me feeling alone, I am trying to embrace the feeling, live with it. My son is an addict and his counselor told him he would always be one, so he should try and steer his need to something positive like meditation. I try and write stories that reach out to people, like books used to do when I was by myself when I grew up.