I cant help being sad and irritated all the time.

my Ts have failed and hurt me
my mom is too sensitive
my dad is invisible
my brother is selfish
my cats need me
my job makes me cry
my colleagues are whining
my friends abandoned me
my boyfriends have left me
my house is not my Home
my efforts are useless
my soul isnt and cant be seen
my body is ugly
my voice is horrible
my mind is masochist
my behavior is self destructive
my childhood was ruined
my adulthood is a waste
im too old
im too lonely
i envy others
im ashamed of myself
kissing is disgusting
sex is overrated
relationships are unrewarding
people are hurtful
feeling is painful
thinking is painful
talking is stressing
writing is overwhelming
staying at home is boring
going out is too much effort
summer is too hot
winter is too cold
living is torture
dying is tempting but scary
everything is a duty

what's left?

here im blaming everyone and everything but the real and only one to blame is me...