Hey blue, sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Contacting your psychiatrist every two weeks is not excessive in my mind. You can certainly ask him if it is too much for him to handle. Years ago when I was first getting a handle on BP, I saw my psychiatrist every week.

For the record, you are not a failure. I know it doesn't sound real when I say it, but it's the truth. You're a strong young woman, who is very accomplished academically. You have a stressful professional job, and it's not easy to balance BP and a tough job. Believe me, I live it every day of my life. You're getting on your feet financially, have a good car, are paying off student loans, and live in a fiscally responsible situation with your parents and grandmother. That's a lot for anyone to handle, much less for someone who is recently out of school.

You are doing well. I realize it's difficult to feel right now, but it is the truth. You can't see it, but everyone else can. We're rooting for you. Get the help you need, any way possible. There's a chance that PHP/IOP would be helpful, or you could even consider a short IP stay. I've personally never liked or benefitted from PHP/IOP, but have been successful with IP multiple times. Use the system that is there for you. You're paying a lot of money for your insurance, and this is the time to put that to use. You might also consider a support group through DBSA or NAMI. I'm sure they're active in Boston.

Best of luck to you. I really feel for you at the moment, and wish the best outcome whatever that might be.