I desperately needed to find another T when my ex-T abandoned me. It was life or death. It wasn't just that I needed to process the loss, but I needed support. I reached out to as many people as I could (family, advocate, crisis house counselor, DBT group T, part-time T at clinic, people here on PC), but it wasn't enough. I saw one T for 2 weeks, but it didn't work out. Then I found my current T. She allowed me to talk about ex-T and the abandonment as much as I wanted to. She also tried communicating with ex-T to get answers, but she didn't get any. Things were not easy at the beginning of our relationship. The trust wasn't there. How could it be? I was just abandoned by a T. Plus we had some communication issues/growing pains. And current T playing middleman between ex-T and I, put my T in a bad position. But things got better. I processed the loss of ex-T. My relationship with my current T grew. I trust my T now. Not fully. She still has to reassure me EVERY week that she's not leaving me. It's like if she doesn't reassure me, then it's not true. I need a refresher/reminder.

I am so so glad I found another T. I wouldn't be here today if I didn't seek out help. My T has really helped me deal with the abandonment of ex-T. I rarely cry for her. I still think about her from time to time, and I am still grieving the loss, but I'm so much better. Even 2 days ago was my ex-T's birthday and I didn't cry!