Cami, your post really touched me, I was the child in a similar scenario. My mother has spent her life feeling guilt for things she had no real control over despite anything I can say to counter it. Right now you're also in a situation that you have limited control over, you can't control your children or how hey choose to feel but what you can do is this...right now, from this point on, be an example of what you'd like to see in the world. you want forgivness? forgive yourself, love? same drill, anything you want to change must start with you, be the change you want to see and find that the world will agree with you. I often tell my mother that unless she's ashamed of who I've become then what basis does she have to feel guilt about her role in that. I lived thru what I did, it made me who I am, and I'm so glad for that...we all have choices to make, things to learn, maybe is time for you to move on....love to you!