You make some very good points. I'll respond individually.
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
1. Have photos that don't make you look like a serial killer. I don't know why men put up photos where they are just rolled out of bed in a t shirt looking depressed.
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I really don't think my pics look like that. Of course, it's hard to be completely objective, but I had a friend take them who is a semi-professional photographer. I also showed them to some female friends who I think would give honest feedback. In fact, they did in some cases say they didn't like pictures and I didn't use them.
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
2. your initial hello should just be basic like "hi I am smart guy - how are you?" if that turns them off.. good to know now (usually not a real person)
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I'll give that some real thought. Maybe I am being overly verbose. Still, the women I've contacted say in their profiles that they want more than one sentence messages. They also say they want evidence that you've actually read their profiles, so I always put personal stuff in there.
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
3. don't push too hard to meet up in person. Let the girl do it. Makes you look like your trying to get laid or like you are trying to make sure she is "pretty".
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I don't *think* I'm pushing too hard. I usually do say that we could get to know each other online and then, if it feels right, talk on the phone or meet up. But maybe next time I'll just suggest getting to know each other online and leave it at that.
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
Consider NOT using dating sites. I suspect strongly the best of the best no longer use those.
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I do know some wonderful women who use dating sites. Also, though I'm not being down on myself, don't think of myself as the "best of the best", or, put a little better, I'm only right for a small percentage of women. That actually might be true for everybody. Anyway, I've had no luck meeting anyone in the real world.