I think you need to address your unconscious desires to find a Good fit. For instance you can say you want a T to help you improve this or that area of your life, someone to challenge you but unconsciously you are looking for a reparenting T you won't find a fit until you look for what your unconsciousness wants.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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