We have decided it's best if he refers me to a DBT specialist with BPD experience. I agree this is best, but I'm really struggling with my attachment to him. Separating is incredibly painful. I am completely heartbroken, but not resentful. I think things are going to get a lot better. It sure sucks right now though. There's a huge empty hole in my life I have to figure out how to fill. Knowing I have BPD (or at least strong BPD characteristics) is helping me understand what's going on.