I've been in your situation–totally full-blown obsession. My therapist was tolerant and patient with my obsession. It was a. topic of conversation often, but we managed to get me. through it. When I read OP's post, it flooded me with memories of searching out my therapist when I was a teen and then in my twenties in the 70's and 80's without modern technology. I survived it and no damage was done to them. Good luck in what ever decision you make, because I can relate to your pain.