I've been 5 times in 7.5 years. But I seem to have a long time I'm fine and then 2 close together. That happened twice (in 2009, in Sept. 2011, in Dec. 2011, in Aug. 205, in Feb. 2016). After I learned it wasn't so scary and that it could help I was much more willing to go in but I have also just been more ill since 2011. There have been things I thought would surely put me in there that I've handed outpatient fine. I'm not sure anything really changed after I got past the fear except that I got sicker. I don't think about it too much or it is overpowering. Right now I'm having a mixed episode and immediately start thinking I could wind up there. It's true, I could, but I've handled hundreds of mixed episodes at home and will probably be fine here.