thanks everyone for your stories and input. it definilty goes to show just how complex being in this kind of situation can be for each of us, depending on our situation, needs, and beliefs.

when i finally ended therapy with my last T, i made sure that i was in a position that would cause the least amount of personal 'damage'. i wanted to be able to end on my terms with my dignity intact and with no regrets. i spent over a year working towards that goal, with the support of my spouse, and my T really was none the wiser to my own personal goal until i announced i was ready to terminate.

for me, deciding not to return to therapy has more to do with being dissatisfied with the profession/ system as a whole than because of my ex-T. i still love my ex-T for the brief moments and occasions over the many years when he was able to share his 'authentic' self with me, but i do not have those same feelings for him as a T.

reading many of these responses has brought forth another question i would like to ask. i can understand needing good support when ending a harmful relationship with a T (i know sure did), but wonder why those who have moved on to a new T for help, feel that this is one of the only ways to address their issues or the pain they suffered from an offending T? i.e. why is seeking further therapy the best solution to the problem? and if that person requires to see many different Ts (to find the perfect fit) to try and sort that issue, at what point does one say enough is enough...i want off this crazy ride?