Great question, manatee! I'm looking forward to reading future responses from people.

I think that the relationship between RoboT and me is probably the number one major factor. I feel like he's as invested in my growth and healing as I am. I got the distinct feeling from all of my previous therapists that they did not enjoy me as a client. I understand why; I can be quite a handful at times. I was even worse as a teenager. But it's not that way with RoboT. I don't think it'd be a stretch for us to have been friends had we met under different circumstances. We're able to laugh together, have intellectual conversations, but also do really good work together.

Another thing that works in our favor is that as a client, I fit into his niche. His focus toward the second half of his career has been in trauma, and while I don't know that I like thinking of my childhood as "traumatic," it was. So he understands me in a clinical sense, which helps him to help me. Also, his general modality is pleasing to me. He's a humanist at heart, and I think I need a therapist who does have that unconditional positive regard for their clients to help me work through some of the attachment issues that I have.

And for me specifically, I wanted a therapist who was willing to recognize and acknowledge my intelligence and knowledge. I remember sitting in lectures as a young child when my stepmother was an adjunct professor teaching Intro to Psych, and my minor was in psychology. I understand a lot of psychological principles, but I have a harder time looking at myself objectively. The last thing I need is for a therapist to treat me like an ignorant client. RoboT rarely patronizes me, and when he does (and I point it out), his response is always something like, "oh, of course you know that. Sorry."