A friend of mine recently posted this link in another area of this forum:

https://www.edcinstitute.org/library...se-trauma.html

Here's a few excerpts:

Learned Helplessness: This leads us to the third part of the cycle because the situation becomes complicated by what is called “learned helplessness.” And that is that no matter what the child does to try and get away from their abuser or save him/herself, they learn that nothing works. There are actual studies where they have taken dogs and put them into a wired cage, and when they try to get out, they get a shock. So after getting a shock every time they try to get out, they learn that they are totally helpless. The same thing happens with children. They learn that nothing works, so they develop “learned helplessness.” This also helps to keep the secret within the family which leads me to the last part of the cycle which is called the stress-response cycle.
Stress-Response Cycle: With all of this conditioning by their parents telling them not to “open their mouths,” the learned helplessness, and the enormous shame and self-hate, the teenager then turns inward and starts using self-harm to reduce their stress. This can be everything from eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, promiscuity, self-mutilation, and attempted suicide. They have learned the anger must be directed at him/herself, they can’t express it, and they self-soothe the best way they know how.
When the child becomes an adult, if they are not able to get help with overcoming their trauma, the four elements of the cycle are reinforced. Again, it begins with the “Original Setup.”


I wish you all the best. There is help out there. You deserve help. You deserve happiness.