t, i tried talking with h again tonite on the way home from the show. i cried of course. he said "are you sure this therapy isn't harming you more than it's helping you?" I said well, up until this past week, it was helping me. He said well you know, it is her job to get at your issues and it seems like she has gotten to one. I told him I think it's also that I am just getting fed up to HERE with everyone else making me feel like I am wrong. He said everybody who? I said you, t, my mother, my sister, our son... he said well that is on you. You're hearing something that people aren't saying. Maybe you're not done with therapy yet.

But I want to be! Why is that so wrong? Everybody else I know in real life gets to go around being their screwed-up selves, what makes me this special snowflake that 'gets' to do this work on myself ad nauseum?!

I am in a mood tonight. And every time I think about coming to your office again and sitting there across from you I start to feel combative again. What the sam hill is going on with me?! I don't want to fight with you again! That was awful the other day!