It's been two years since I lost my two old friends. I'll try to be brief and explain how each ended, since it's important to know the details:

FRIEND #1:

Once, a few years ago, I really disagreed with something he wrote on his Facebook. He had praised some lady who said she resented her kids; wished she never had them; said they took away from her shopping time. My friend called her a "hero" and said "more parents need to admit having kids is a pain". He was serious. Wasn't joking around.

So I stepped in and said, "No, she's not a hero. She's a selfish person, and her writing that publicly was a slap in the face to her kids." I was pretty forceful in making a series of points after that, disagreeing with him. He did not argue or even address me, but some of his FB friends did.

He then took me aside, private messaged me, and said, "You can't talk like that on my Facebook and you can't talk to my friends like that." BAM, blocked me. I was surprised, because this is a loud-mouthed guy who talked for a good 15 years about how he "loves debate" and "loves to be challenged" (yeah, right).

I tried to reconnect (I shouldn't have) -- and he very reluctantly did like a year later. We never discussed the Facebook "incident" (but he seemed butthurt about it, he'd grumble, "I'm over it.") A year after that, I asked why we never hang out, he gave a bunch of lame excuses, and I BLEW UP. I really let him have it in terms of how much he had changed and how he was a bad friend. Bam, he blocked me again. No response that time.

So, that's what happened with him. He really dramatically CHANGED as a person -- totally changed -- started running with a new crowd (on Facebook), a group of people who never seemed to disagree with him, ever.

Ironically, he later married a woman with a kid -- one he called a "sugar momma" -- he moved out of his parents house to go live with her, because she had a car, nice house, good career. He does all this with a straight face, too. He's a total mooch, but thinks he's smarter than everyone because he has a Master's degree (and tons of debt).

The past seven or eight years, he just turned into a bigger and bigger idiot. He wasn't like this growing up when I knew him in his teens and 20s.
Opposite, in fact. That's probably why I got a little more combative with him -- seeing him change.

FRIEND #2:

Long story short, I dated someone he didn't want me to date (his girlfriend's sister, as a matter of fact). Someone, based on a misunderstanding, who he thought "meddled" in his life. He hated her! After 9 months of GRIEF, he finally relented and agreed HE had not gotten all the facts, he was wrong -- which he was, 100% WRONG. It was a total misunderstanding and he blamed her for something someone else had done.

But that didn't matter. He still expected me to apologize to him, even though I did nothing wrong.

He's kind of stubborn and a bully, so I just unleashed -- blasted him for 20 years of hypocritical behavior, bullying, disrespect.

He actually AGREED I was RIGHT, and THANKED ME... but then ended the friendship and insulted me. Blocked me. Even though he admitted I was right, he was so butthurt, he couldn't go on being friends.

SO THAT IS IT.

Those are my two "friends".

In each case, I felt both of them changed a lot. Both can't take ANY criticism, but BOY they can dish it out!

For too many years, I rarely spoke up or pushed back much, and it seems when I finally did, they bailed, quick.

I'm upset at them, I feel I got a raw deal, and they disappointed me and really let me down. I always took THEIR criticism (which I welcomed, in many respects, because constructive criticism helps a person grow -- and in their case, it wasn't always constructive, but more like projection, but I let it slide). But they did not like getting it back.

I don't know what to do about it.

I know most will say, "Move on"... but is it worth contacting them or anything? Is ... it worth it trying to... I don't even know what can be said. I really just want to tell them to "Get over the butthurt, our friendships ended over stuff adults work out."

I actually do miss them -- I'm shocked things ended over such petty crap, but I really think they just have big egos and hate any kind of push-back.

Thank you for reading.