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Do you expect too much of yourself?
I generally expect to fail, so I'm scared of doing anything to achieve something, to reach/realise my potential. If there's still a chance of succeeding, I do everything to make sure it's no longer an option.
Mania, fear-induced fearless psychosis, is different in different in that I desperately want to succeed and (sometimes after a while) I think I will succeed, after which I think I will fail, become so fearful it causes psychosis and I will eventually realise I've actually failed and (later still) that others aren't to blame to the extent I thought they were. That's pretty much typical mania, right?
Of course it still is a problem with expectations.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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