abusymom, hi and welcome! i'm glad you found our community. it's a community full of warm and caring people.

i'm so sorry that you're feeling so badly about life and yourself right now. It seems to me, that you're having post partum depression. Your family dr can help with some medicines for you to get through this really tough time of life. However, it sounds like this might be an ongoing problem for you that's worsened with the major hormonal changes after the birth of your son. Congratulations, by the way! I would think that maybe you could benefit from some therapy for depression as well?

A therapist can talk to you about your unhappiness with yourself and help you find the route of where it's coming from. Then hopefully it could be dealt with.

I truly hope you will make an appt. with your dr. (your ob dr would be great for that too), and discuss the possibility of treating post partum depression. Also, bring up the fact that you might benefit from a therapist?

I wish you much luck with your new little man and hope you keep in contact with us to let us know what you decide and how you all are doing.

kd