Label it as a feeling then write down all the ways you are NOT like her.....you probably have many differences, too many to count..after all you write and express so well that you don't like her as person, yet love her because she's your mother...you have pinpointed 2 very distinct feelings that create conflict and you seem to understand that..I am working on separating myself from my mother too, and the more I set up a boundary, the more I allow MYSELF to come through and not the imagined self, when imagination runs, it is good to come back to that list...for me..1) My morals are more concerned with being good to others instead of hurtful to others 2) I would raise my own kids without verbal abuse 3) My relationships are more give and take than just take 4) My values involve fairness and helping and being thoughtful

........................But that's my list............what's yours?