How is it that people can see just how bad off you are and still not completely get it?

I'm away from home for the summer. Staying at my sister A's house. Visiting my other sister N's house here and there. N has SEEN first hand how quickly I fall apart. I talk with her all the time. She knows the pain that I am in. My other sister doesn't quite get it. She can't miss that I'm struggling but her understanding of all of it is limited.

My life is a series of bad choices. Surprise surprise. I thought I had a nice situation set up but leave it to me to decide to move in with someone even more damaged so that I am not able to stay there.

My sister has offered to allow me to stay here but I don't like the cold weather and would prefer to be back home. I don't have insurance. I NEED HELP! It's like I feel like unless I was put in a hospital or something people just think I'm handling it and I'm not.

I feel like such a BURDEN to everyone. Then I think about how effed up everyone would feel if I tried to off myself and that feels no better than being a burden.

I'm just exhausted. I need help and there isn't any.