i think you are stuck in a rut. After my accident i was by myself in my room and was very depressed because i was soo bad off. it took a lot of strength to get out of bed and my parents ended up admitting me to a pshyc ward. i learned from this and other experiences likewise, and i am alot almost about 80 % better than i was 30 years ago. i hope and pray you can get the help you need and good luck.