I finally was able to convey to T today that i need to know what to do if things get bad. I've been working up to this conversation for a looooong time, and her student was absent the past two weeks... I was hoping today she'd be gone again and i would have the courage to bring it up. Sadly, she was back. *sigh*. it makes me feel more crazy to be observed by a student. anyway, the T brought it up first (good, since it was the end of session and i wasn't able to). She asked if id' be safe over the holidays and ok with no appnt that week. I was able to tell her that we needed to talk about what do if i'm not. So she wants me to call the crisis line and also gave me her cell phone number. FINALLY. Because any other number or email she won't get in a timely fashion. I totally respect her time and wouldn't call unless it were really bad - like me being not physically safe to myself. I explained that being DID.MPD can be hard when talking to a crisis line if they don't "get it" and i don't want authorities showing up at the door. She also talked about me going to the ER if i were unsafe, but I really don't like that idea. I don't need an ER visit to turn into admission.
but, at least with knowing that i can call her if needed, it feels like a step forward.
kiya