my abuser killed himself a couple of years ago. and i have been having horrible nightmares about my past. so i figured if i went to see his grave then i could settle my obsessing thoughts. so today i skipped school and had a friend(she's not in school...dropped out) take me to the cemetery. it brought back more pain than the nightmares did...it was a bad idea to go there. now i really cant stop thinking about him. its like he was right there next to me when i was standing over his grave. i feel like he is in my head now, like he can hear my thoughts and he is laughing at me because he got just what he wanted. i dont know if i am greiveing or just freaking out and obsessing. this is really bringing me down.