I saw this hadn't gotten a response so I wanted to say welcome. I don't really have any answers for you except to keep working with your pdoc. I know it can be hard to get appointments at the VA. Do you see a therapist? That can help you learn how to control things more.

A website I found really helpful when I was newly diagnosed is PsychEducation | Treating the Mood Spectrum It's written by a psychiatrist who specializes in bipolar and is very informative about a wide range of topics.