I have had several exchanges with my ex-T by email and snail mail and it has worked pretty well. Writing things out gives me the time to express stuff, then think about it, then edit it.

We had broken up, kind of -- I wasn't satisfied and she said that she didn't have the emotional resources to deal with me, at that time.

But still there was unfinished business, and the email or snail mail route has been a pretty good way for me to try to deal with it.

I've written out long explanations -- and then deleted them. Over time, I have written what I thought might be something that made (easy) sense for my ex-T. Don't know for sure of course. But that's what I tried for.

I'm glad that I tried it. Still don't know if there will be a resolution/result that I'm satisfied with, but I have tried and I'm glad of that.