Hey. Trauma responses are hard. Developmental trauma changes the developing brain. YOUR life was made too hard and YOU were caused pain and trouble and YOU deserved better.
You are doing the best you can with what you were given. It's enough. it will get better in time. This is what happens when young children get sh** on. All these affects of complex trauma. For now whatever you are whatever you have, is enough and you are forgiven for EVERYTHING.
Hang in there.
From a fellow multiple diagnoses DID trauma survivor.