So I learned T sees someone I know. Still gutted over finding out, especially as I do know that person has lots of trauma and deserves T more than me and is also a really nice person offline and online.

I'm still sure she matters more to T or will come to matter more to T.

Yes there's LOTS of private practice therapists with similar or better skill sets than T (who is in the public health system), are more flexible, have better hours, can offer more support, are more experienced...but I'm attached to T as a person.