I would recommend trying to be self sufficient (physically and emotionally) before trying to reach out to others or trying to draw strength from other people, because they are unpredictable.

Have you ever tried rewarding yourself for doing things? It sounds like you want to do things, but also don't want to because doing things is futile; because you are alone, no one will notice that you've done something -- ergo, you don't exist, so why should you do anything?

I often feel like I need to have someone hold my hand through tasks that don't even require much effort. During those times I may feel invisible, or physically empty, easily collapsible, as if someone could put their hand through my stomach.

So I talk to myself. If I'm very scared, I will say, "Good job, you are squeezing toothpaste onto your toothbrush," and then after brushing: "Good job, you brushed your teeth." Similarly: "Good job, you opened a word document to start writing your essay," or "Good job, you got dressed and went to the library - now open a word document." And I have an imaginary friend/imaginary loving parent figure who I will say, "Your imaginary friend loves you so much and is so proud of you. You were very good and tried your best and did something today, even if it was not perfect. (Their name) will buy you a coffee. Or a special type of food for a cooking project. Or a plant that you like."

This, I think, is a way to acknowledge your efforts and feel like someone is there to take care of you so you aren't on your own. It also is a way to trick yourself into doing more (starting a small garden, going out for coffee, buying groceries, checking an interesting book out from the library and even other self care acts like applying nail polish). You might even meet people this way.

Some people I know even do reward charts, where they X out chores they've scheduled. Say, if they brush their teeth twice a day, they give themselves a sticker. If they eat three healthy meals, they'll give themselves another reward. Something like that. Personally I've never had the discipline to do this, and my imagination isn't so strong. (Like you, I need that push from another person - motivating myself sometimes isn't good enough, and I can't totally imagine that it's another person giving me those treats.)

You have a routine of sleeping. Now just tweak that routine. Make a schedule (structure your time) so doing things isn't so overwhelming. Be proud of yourself. Start small. Don't feel too bad if you really need to stay in bed. Tomorrow is another day.

What do you think of that? (Apologies if this is totally not relevant to your question.)